The Like Switch by Jack Shafer (a psychologist and FBI agent specializing in behavior analysis and recruiting spies) is about gaining people’s trust as quickly as possible.
A big part of becoming more likable is employing the right body language. Here are a few tips:
- Avoid the urban scowl, also known as Resting B*tch Face. Sometimes it’s our natural disposition or learned from growing up in a big city or touch neighborhood. Whatever the reason, if people have asked you “why you’re mad” or told you that “you’re intimidating,” you probably have it, and you’ll need to actively work to turn that frown upside down without having a reason.
- We tend to address and look at people we already know. Instead, we should bring the people who are not in the fold into our message by looking at them. Resist the temptation to look at the people who are already on board and focus on winning over the audience’s less friendly faces.
- Intensify your eye contact by gazing for a second, turning your head to give the impression you’re breaking eye contact, but keep locking eyes for one more second. End your stare down with a smile. It’s safe to approach if the person looks at you again.
- A head tilt to the right or left is a non-threatening gesture that makes you seem more trustworthy and attractive.
- A smile is a powerful friend signal. Smiling faces are more beautiful, more likable, and less dominant. A smile portrays confidence, happiness, and enthusiasm, and acceptance. Learning to produce a real smile (upturned mouth and squinty eyes) at will when there is no reason to comes with intention and practice.
- Touching is a powerful, subtle, yet complex form of nonverbal communication. A risk-free way to measure the strength of a new relationship is to accidentally touch or brush against the person of interest’s hand. They will unconsciously send signals indicating the touch’s acceptance or rejection.